LAUDER, Ian




Author Tags: Fiction

Ian Lauder is president of Mud Valley Productions Inc. As of 2014, he has spent more than 20 years in B.C. living in Vancouver, Vancouver Island, White Rock, and Panorama Ridge. He was born in Northern Ontario and educated at University of Toronto. He is a self-published writer via Amazon. By mid-2013, Amazon.com provided the first 46 of his 52 titles [see below] 42 having been released at the rate of one a day for 42 consecutive days [Dec 3, 2012 – January 13, 2013]. The remaining 6 will be released as they are rendered publishable, the 52nd on June 16 – his 70th birthday.

COMMENTS BY LAUDER ON HIS BOOKS:

(01) Westering (after a fashion): [14 short stories and a novella] 1976/1978

My writing endeavors, in independent but related volumes, constitute a comic Odyssey – a Pilgrim’s Progress, 20th/21st Centuries style. The central hero, an artist documenting his life and age, although himself an occasional violator of all the Commandments, never hesitates to wade into any situation should the safety, dignity, or happiness of an animal, child, or innocent be involved. Single, poor, and optimistic, in a world still governed by Mammon, Mars, and Priapus, his story is ribald, noble, and comic. Young in spirit and incapable of selling out as an artist or giving up on his quest, he pays the inevitable price, and reaps the sweet rewards, of such a stand.

(02) Skookum Gulch: [poetry] 1976/1980

Skookum Gulch, delightful though it was to execute, is the only volume of poetry I wrote; though I have, from time to time over the decades, birthed verses, weaving them into the tapestry of prose.

(03) Pettyville County: [novel] 1980/1981

(04) Fugue: [novel] 1983

(05) Gemini: [novel] 1983

Dubious about divination paraphernalia, I used the I-Ching in this volume nonetheless. Why it worked so flawlessly is a mystery, I suspect, I’ll never comprehend – nor care to.

(06) Vignettes, Thoughts, and a Classical Exit: [nonfiction] 1984/1985

(07) – (20) Illustrated Children’s Books: 1985

In 1985, when I was forty, 14 illustrated children’s books birthed themselves over a few weeks period. Seeing them illustrated by two mega talents felt like Christmas.

(21) Sailor: [novella] 1985

Many will consider this my finest work – a unique jewel of human artistry, because of its themes and execution; and because it’s the only volume of Literature in which characters age with a river.

(22) OYA: [151 B&W cartoons] 1985/1991

I revere single panel B&W cartoons – consider them a form of high art.

(23) Hollywood Gold (screenplay) 1 of 7: 1992
I love writing well-known-characters screenplays and see no reason why this one should die just because I had no one to knock on the golden door for me back in 1992, when it could have been made into Star Trek VII.

(24) Hollywood Gold [screenplays] 2 of 7: 1993/1994

Hollywood is the only place I ever felt truly at home, even though I went broke there and never met anyone of consequence career-wise. Hopefully I’ll go back one day as an honored guest à la J. K. Rowling – and much, much more. Time, and the tarot, will tell.

(25) Hollywood Gold screenplays] 3 of 7: 1994

Attention Hollywood: There isn’t a screenplay in your hands that I can’t polish or certify as flawless in twenty-four hours, regardless of genre – other than musicals.

(26) Hollywood Sojourn (A Writer’s Perspective): [nonfiction] 1993/1994

It’s been almost 18 years since I left Hollywood, yet I’ve never stopped wanting to return there – miss it still, even though it bankrupted and ignored me utterly, other than inspiring me to write my brains out throughout, in an overly expensive, cockroach assaulted hovel.

(27) Hollywood Gold [screenplay] 4 of 7: 1994

It typically takes six months to a year to write a screenplay. Of the nine I’ve penned to date, the longest took me twenty-two hours. Like all of my writings, they came unexpectedly, birthed like an auditory river, my job being, at that point, merely stenographic.

(28) Thunder: [novella] 1994

Thunder birthed Elfindale. The child, truly, is father to the man.

(29) Elfindale: [novel] 1994/1995

Elfindale, my only faerie genre novel, is 18 years old. With luck, it will be made into a 7 feature film franchise, and celebrated in both formats for centuries. (June 12, 2013)

(30) There is no Dust in Buddhaland: [nonfiction] 1995/1996

There is no Dust in Buddhaland is a volume of nonfiction – my perception of the reality that was my fiftieth year.

(31) Hollywood Gold [teleplays/screenplays] 5 of 7: 1992/1999

Making film adaptable, back-to-back ‘teleplays’ of two of my favorite TV shows was fun. Given the chance, I still think they’d make excellent feature films, with or without the original cast.

(32) Petros & Valencia: [novella] 2000

The masculine aspect of the human psyche has been bullying the feminine, inadvertently or deliberately, since the dawn of our race. Petros & Valencia and Junior Mints, in fairytale format, map what it takes to arrest this crippling tendency: the first focusing on training the male psyche to honor the feminine as its equal; the second, how the feminine must embrace the proactive even to survive, much less flourish, in a masculine dominated species.

(33) Junior Mints: (see Petros & Valencia) [novella] 2001

(34) Back to the Boob: [aphorisms] 2001

When I was twelve I encountered a volume of Ben Franklin’s Poor Richard’s Almanac and was struck by the power, beauty, humour, and condensed wisdom of aphorisms. To date, Back to the Boob, Another Turn of the Wheel, and Enlightenment’s Anteroom are my contributions to that genre. (April 08, 2011)

(35) Another Turn of the Wheel: [aphorisms +] 2002

Taking Hollywood by storm, by bus, when one is 56 years old, is a long shot at best. Read on, McDuff!

(36) Enlightenment’s Anteroom: [nonfiction] 2002

For cataractless perception, one must live one’s life, from cradle to grave, untainted by political, scientific, social, and religious dogma. (November 15, 2010)

To be a fully evolved person, the feminine side of one’s psyche, regardless of gender, must be intuitive, compassionate, creative, and nurturing: and the masculine side of one’s psyche must be analytic, courageous, and patient – a spear in the service of humanity. (November 16, 2010)

(37) Mud Valley: [13 short stories] 2005

When a man turns 60 he casts a gimlet eye on his life and the world: a gimlet eye hopefully a-twinkle with humour and joie de vive, despite the grind of it all.

(38) Unlikely Amigos: [novella] 2011

This volume of fiction, like my last such a decade ago, came unexpectedly and inconveniently. Fortunately, like its brethren, the delivery was facile, taking less than two weeks, at an hour or so a day.

(39) Fire Lizards: [scripts] 2000/2012

Yesterday I was 16. Now I’m 66. How in the hell did that happen?!

(40) A Quest of Elves: [illustrated Skookum Gulch faerie genre poem] 1976/2012

For the young, leaving home is easy – an adventure: for their parents, watching them leave is an anguish – a permanent pain.

(41) The Quandary: [illustrated Skookum Gulch faerie genre poem] 1976/2012

Doggerel is the poor relation of Poetry, generally denigrated by bards and critics alike; but it has its place, because humour is soul food.

(42) The Retirement of Good King Theo: [illustrated Skookum Gulch faerie genre poem] 1979/2012

Thirty-three years have passed since I wrote this poem. It’s a pleasure to finally present it to the world, as an illustrated book. (January 12, 2013)

(43) Gehenna: [quasi-fiction novella] 2005/2012

Be kind, loving, and loyal to your clan for half a century or so; then, if they fail to reciprocate, move on – dump the fuckers.

(44) Veil Melt: [novella] 2013

Veil Melt, my 44th completed volume in just over 37 years, wrote itself in the previous two days; a very satisfying experience, considering I’m immersed in the business end of art at present, attempting to get the media’s attention re the 42 in 42.

(45) Apatos: [novella] 2013

I never thought I’d write a sequel to any of my books, much less Unlikely Amigos. I couldn’t be more surprised, or pleased.

(46) Nancy: [novella] 2013

After writing Apatos as a sequel to Unlikely Amigos, I knew a trilogy was in the works. Welcome to Nancy.

BOOKS:

(01) Westering (after a fashion): [14 short stories and a novella] 1976/1978

A seasoned writer generally blushes at aspects of their first book. Happily, I got to edit Westering (after a fashion) for thirty-four years prior to its publication.

(02) Skookum Gulch: [poetry] 1976/1980

From 1976 to 1980, when I was 30 to 34 years of age, unencumbered by dog, job, family, or friends, I explored the Americas, Europe, the British Isles, and Africa, writing over a thousand poems.

Enclosed are the hundred-and-seventy-four that Time embraced.

(03) Pettyville County: [novel] 1980/1981

Pettyville County is the story of a handful of people, who occupied peripheral positions in the society of rural Ontario, Canada, from 1890 to 1980.

Book One - Links

The characters in Links are united by blood, chance, intellect, and inclination. Individually and collectively they are unfolding in a manner unperceived by their neighbors due to the simplicity of their lives and the humbleness of their station. Like mystics everywhere, though they harbor no certainty about what they truly are or where they are going or why, they are growing nonetheless, and at speed.

Book Two - It’s Only a Matter of Time

is the story of a middle-aged veteran of World War Two - a carpenter - whose honesty, lust, and rage take him and his family on a descent into Hell. Their descent acts as a counterpart to the growth of those in Links.

Book Three - Phoebe

is the story of a nonagenarian living out her days in an old folk’s home. She’s a born storyteller; that is to say, a humorist, and a liar of the first degree.

(04) Fugue: [novel] 1983

Fugue microscopes the world of a cynically-optimistic, thirty-eight-year-old writer undertaking a full-steam-ahead adventure, fleeing the perils of a noble act.

(05) Gemini: [novel] 1983

Youthful Artist + Adoration + Deception + I Ching = Folly: predictable, train-wreck Folly - and a whole lot of Magic, Creativity, and Fun.

Welcome to Gemini.

(06) Vignettes Thoughts and a Classical Exit: [nonfiction] 1984/1985

I’ve great affection for this book because when I conceptualized it, at thirty-nine, I actually thought I’d stop writing at forty for a decade - gain some perspective, after penning manuscript after manuscript throughout the previous ten years. Ha! Twenty-seven years later I’m still going strong - in spades - a slave to the ultimate toy - language.

(07)-(20) Children’s Picture Books: 1985

(07) Root Beer Floats: A little girl goes adventuring with her fairy godmother and a junkyard dog.

(08) Rodney and Clifford and Janice: The life of three little dinosaurs living in the modern world.

(09) Gerald: A young goose, unhappy with his name, learns to love it.

(10) Three Whole Strawberries: A mouse learns that one man’s “small” is another man’s “big”.

(11) Hubert the Hippo: A little hippo seeks: “The meaning of life.”

(12) Strange Fruit: A primeval pterodactyl learns how to time travel.

(13) Samuel Snail: A snail sticks to his guns about his pace of life.

(14) Beau Bee: A bee boy decides what he’s going to be when he grows up.

(15) Rotten Eggs: A city boy, on a trip to the country, is befriended by an owl.

(16) Crow: A not-always-popular crow finds out how much he’s needed and loved.

(17) Moth: The full, beautiful life of a lady moth.

(18) Ozzie’s Itch: An ostrich learns, by leaving and returning, how much he loves his family and life.

(19) Peter Pig: A talented pig travels the world, with a circus.

(20) The King of the Kangaroos: A little girl learns the importance of happiness.

(21) Sailor: [novella] 1985

In Sailor a turn-of-the-century, lonely, middle-aged sailor, retiring from half a lifetime’s wandering about the globe, finds friendship, love, and spiritual fulfillment, in the delta district of the Mississippi.

(22) OYA: [151 B&W cartoons] 1985/1991

I once said that I’d sell my soul to execute a volume of single-panel, black and white cartoons. No affable demonic appeared forthwith in a cloud of smoke, bearing quill and contract (possibly because I didn’t really mean it), but the seed was planted nonetheless - birthing OYA, the naughtiest of all my children.

(23) Hollywood Gold [screenplay] 1 of 7: 1992

Star Trek VII: A Warrior’s Exit: The baton is nobly and definitively passed from the first generation to the second. It was written with the expressed purpose of pleasing Star Trek fans of all persuasions, debunkers, and the indifferent.

(24) Hollywood Gold [2 screenplays] 2 of 7: 1993/1994

Jack and Bill and Ian (1993): Two street-wise and relatively carefree American paladins, rendezvousing with their brother at his request after a separation of ten years, are betrayed by him, for a price, into matrimony - a romance, comedic, action-adventure film starring Bill Murray, Jack Nicholson, and yours truly.

Fields (1993/1994): Subtle, intergenerational love, humor, friendship, and the adventure of daily life predominate throughout this schmaltz-less, healing film, where everyone’s potential is encouraged, everyone’s character celebrated - and honed.

(25) Hollywood Gold [2 screenplays] 3 of 7: 1994

Gobstopper: Jake, a ruthless, forty-nine-year-old, wealthy bachelor, in the throes of an overwhelmingly-unexpected fetish, is drained, over a four-day period, of all his power and possessions by a bright, young, opportunistic street girl.

Juan: A tall, lean, dangerous Italian-Argentine biker experiences a crisis of conscience; a spiritual awakening so overwhelming he embraces a total denial of what he was, flees his old haunts and gang in New York, flies to LA, and becomes an actor. The police officer pursuing him, dedicated to the chase because of a personal humiliation suffered at the hands of Juan, sees him as a bit player in a film and flies to Hollywood to track him down. Once there, he too experiences a crisis of conscience; is compelled, by the fact of Juan’s new reality, to choose between Justice and Law - the Old Testament and the New.

(26) Hollywood Sojourn (A Writer’s Perspective): [nonfiction] 1993/1994

In November of 1993, bearing two teleplays and two screenplays, a forty-eight-year-old Canadian writer moved to the heart of Hollywood to set the film industry on its ear.

In the ensuing seven months he wrote three more screenplays and a book chronicling his experiences, reminiscences, and observations, while pursuing his objective.

Hollywood Sojourn is that volume.

(27) Hollywood Gold [screenplay] 4 of 7: 1994

The Extra From Hell: An ‘extra from hell’, claiming to be Jack Nicholson’s brother, overwhelms the production of a low-budget Western, turning the film into another creature entirely - a humorous, satirical look at the narcissism endemic in showbiz; and the organic nature of creativity.

(28) Thunder: [novella] 1994

In Thunder, a unique little girl and an extraordinary pup develop a deep, abiding friendship while bonding with three courageously eccentric neighborhood dogs.

(29) Elfindale: [novel] 1994/1995

The Arthurian legend endures because its themes and characters resonate globally. Elfindale is my conception of that myth, and its ramifications for contemporary culture.

It’s universally understood by mystics an androgynous psyche is mandatory for higher forms of consciousness. By restoring Morgan le Fay to her rightful place as Merlin’s soul mate Elfindale embodies this sacred truth.

Elfindale is also a Gaia novel, for Merlin and his magnificent dog Thunder, obedient vassals of nature, are summoned to train a modern girl in the arts of sorcery and politics, since her generation is charged with husbanding the world, before humanity pays the catastrophic price of a multifaceted global suffering generated by its cumulative folly.

Because “A lesson humorously delivered is a lesson retained,” the great themes of Elfindale are presented with love, laughter, and a spirit of adventure, in a novel that nurtures the young while challenging seasoned souls.

(30) There is no Dust in Buddhaland: [nonfiction] 1995/1996

There is no Dust in Buddhaland is a non-fiction volume chronicling my fiftieth year.

May you find its contents as stellar as its title.

(31) Hollywood Gold [teleplays/screenplays] 5 of 7: 1992/1999

Northern Exposure (A) “Maggie’s Physical” or “The Burning” (1992), and Northern Exposure (B) “Bacon and Eggs -- Over Easy” (1993) were created as an end-of-season double-header; or, combined, as a feature film - as were Stargate SG-1(A) “R&R” (1999), and Stargate SG-1(B) “R&R Two - - The Labors of O’Neill” (1999).

(32) Petros & Valencia: [novella] 2000

Petros and Valencia is a story about what it takes for a spoiled young man to awaken to profound truths – as well as stop thinking with his dick, in order to be worthy of his soulmate’s adoration.

(33) Junior Mints: [novella] 2001

Junior Mints is the story of how vulnerable a young woman, however clever, is in a dangerously deceptive world – then and now; especially for one whose destiny is unconventional.

(34) Back to the Boob: [aphorisms] 2001

Back to the Boob is a collection of ‘aphoristic’ one-liners – an excellent bathroom, travel, and waiting room read.

(35) Another Turn of the Wheel: [aphorisms +] 2001

In Another Turn of the Wheel, ‘aphoristic’ one-liners salt the musings of a middle-aged writer/actor/filmmaker en route to and from Hollywood - by bus.

(36) Enlightenment’s Anteroom: [nonfiction] 2002

Religious, Political, Business, and Social Malfeasance, increasingly-outed worldwide, are losing their customary capacity to bamboozle; their throttlehold on ‘Truth’ dwindling daily. Enlightenment’s Anteroom exists to help take down those faltering, malignant monsters - give Laughter, Love, Ethics, and Spirituality their place in the sun.

(37) Mud Valley: [13 short stories] 2005

I love this volume of short stories. It’s ruthless, funny, and erotic - even prophetic.

(38) Unlikely Amigos: [novella] 2011

Infant appeal transcends species; renders people protective of helpless little ones, especially if they, teleported and miniaturized by a quirk of quantum physics, come from another time and place.

In this book a twelve-year-old girl; her fifty-four-year-old grandmother; and their sixty-six-year-old, bachelor neighbor band together to save three little guys clearly in need of assistance in an overwhelmingly alien-to-them environment.

(39) Fire Lizards: [scripts] 2000/2012

Long an aficionado of short films and clever commercials, Fire Lizards contains the scripts of dozens I’ve written over the years.

(40) A Quest of Elves: [illustrated Skookum Gulch faerie genre poem] 1976/2012

An elfin village experiences the separation anxiety that besets all parents, when their children leave for foreign lands.

(41) The Quandary: [illustrated Skookum Gulch faerie genre poem] 1976/2012

A father and son experience an unusual adventure in a laundromat.

(42) The Retirement of Good King Theo: [illustrated Skookum Gulch faerie genre poem] 1979/2012

How, and why, a wise leader passes the baton.

(43) Gehenna: [quasi-fiction novella] 2005/2012

When a great talent incarnates into a clan, it can have an extraordinarily unfortunate effect on its lesser members - especially siblings.

(44) Veil Melt: [novella] 2013

Veil Melt is a novella about one soul’s final three incarnations on both sides of the veil.

(45) Apatos: [novella] 2013

Quantum physics’ string theory is a hoot: an anything-goes hoot. Welcome to Apatos, birthed by Unlikely Amigos.

(46) Nancy: [novella] 2013

Nancy, the world’s foremost expert in quantum physics’ string theory, travels to the Jurassic, where adventure and revelation await.

Volumes in Progress:

(47) An Evening With Churchill: Volume 1 of 2 [nonfiction] 2002/20??

(48) An Evening With Churchill: Volume 2 of 2 [nonfiction] 20??/200?

(49) Marking Pen, Poster Paint, and Aerosol Art by Ian Lauder and the Kids of 118 [coffee table volume] 1988/201?

(50) B&W [single panel cartoons] 1991/201?

(51) Hollywood Gold [2 screenplays] 6 of 7: 1995/201?

(52) Hollywood Gold [2 screenplays] 7 of 7: 201?/201?

(53) In the Bubble: Volume 1 of ? [nonfiction] 20??/20??

[BCBW 2014]