As a University of Victoria instructor and psychologist, Jillian Roberts has specialized in medically fragile children. She first co-wrote School Children with HIV/AIDS (Detselig, 1999) with Kathleen Cairns.

As a Child and Adolescent psychologist in Victoria, the UVic educational psychologist has since created an app called Facts of Life and written a book for ages 3-to-6, Where Do Babies Come From?: Our First Talk About Birth (Orca 2015), illustrated by Cindy Revell. It's the first book in her Just Enough series to include topics such as death, cultural diversity, and parental separation or divorce. It was followed by What Happens When a Loved One Dies? Our First Talk About Death (Orca 2016) and What Makes Us Unique? Our First Talk About Diversity (Orca 2016).

In 2018, Roberts' On Our Street: Our First Talk About Poverty (Orca $19.95) introduced young children to the realities of people living without sufficient resources and includes the homeless, the mentally ill, those living as refugees, and other aspects of the difficulties of poverty. She wisely included a section on how kids can help so that they can feel empowered to make a difference in the real world. Her second "our first talk" title concerned disscussing tragedy.

In 2019, as a UVic educational psychological, she continued her quest to introduce young readers to very serious topics, with her "our first talk"; series, with two more installments for ages 6-8, illustrated again by Jane Heinrichs. These were On the Internet: Our First Talk About Online Safety (Orca $19.95 hc) and On the Playground: Our First Talk About Prejudice (Orca $19.95 hc).

BOOKS:

School Children with HIV/AIDS (Detselig, 1999)

Where Do Babies Come From?: Our First Talk About Birth (Orca 2015) 9781459809420 $19.95

What Happens When a Loved One Dies? Our First Talk About Death (Orca 2016) $19.95 9781459809451

What Makes Us Unique? Our First Talk About Diversity (Orca 2016). Illustrated by Cindy Revell $19.95 978-1-4598-0948-2

Why Do Families Change? Our First Talk About Separation and Divorce (Orca 2017) $19.95 978-1459-809512

On Our Street: Our First Talk About Poverty (Orca 2018) $19.95 978-1-459816-17-6 Co-Writer Jaime Casap. Illustrations by Jane Heinrichs

On the News: Our First Talk About Tragedy (Orca 2018) $19.95 978-14598-1785-2. Illustrated by Jane Heinrichs.

On the Internet: Our First Talk About Online Safety (Orca 2019) $19.95 hc 9781459820944. Illustrated by Jane Heinrichs.

On the Playground: Our First Talk About Prejudice (Orca 2019) $19.95 hc 9781459820913. Illustrated by Jane Heinrichs.

Under Our Clothes: Our First Talk About Our Bodies (Orca 2019) $19.95 978-1-4598-2097-5. Illustrated by Jane Heinrichs.

On Our Nature Walk: Our First Talk About Our Impact on the Environment (Orca 2020) $19.95 978-1-4598-2100-2

Why Do Families Change? Our First Talk About Separation and Divorce (Orca 2020) $19.95 978-1-4598-0951-2

[BCBW 2020]

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INTERVIEW with Jillian Roberts by Beverly Cramp

This is a true story. A single father gives his young daughter an iPad for Christmas. While using it to work on a science project, this pre-teen inadvertently encounters pornographic images of sexual bondage.

Not knowing what she was looking at, the little girl became traumatized. One day her father checks in on her because she had been in her bedroom a long time without making any noise. He discovers she has taken off all her clothes and wrapped herself in black tape.

“Kids often deal with this situation by acting out,” says child psychologist and University of Victoria associate professor Dr. Jillian Roberts, author of On the Internet: Our First Talk About Online Safety (Orca $19.95). “It’s called trauma play.”

This little girl would eventually become Dr. Roberts’ patient. She overcame her trauma with therapy. Child psychologists, such as Roberts, often hear stories like this; especially the kind involving children and sexuality, a combination most adults aren’t comfortable discussing with each other, let alone admitting that such activities occur.

“It’s embarrassing and stigmatizing,” she says, “yet there are hundreds of thousands of families with some kind of experience like this and generally the public doesn’t hear about it. We, [the psychologists] are the ones hearing about these stories.

“I’ve been concerned since at least 2013 with a shift in the referrals I get in my clinical practice and the kinds of problems children are presenting to me. I used to deal with issues like divorce problems and playground bullying. Now, children are being bullied online. There’s a tremendous pressure to get as many ‘likes’ as possible on their social media. It’s a status symbol. So, many are posting nude photos because that gets a lot of attention.”

Problems don’t just arise from kids stumbling on inappropriate material or posting inappropriate pictures.

“With kids spending so much time on their screens, they are taking a hit on their interpersonal relationships, not learning about actual face-to-face social interaction. We need to get good guidelines, knowledge and wisdom into parents’ hands so they can help their children navigate the Internet in a healthy way.”

Dr. Roberts hopes parents will use her new book, On the Internet as a starting point for sitting down with their children, discussing the dangers of the Internet and how to avoid them, and setting ground rules for online behavior. “This book is designed to help children develop a sense of empathy,” says Roberts. “Integrity matters even if no one else sees it. Boundaries matter.”

Parents should make a social media plan for their families, including such things as:
—Not posting a picture of someone else online without their permission.
—Only posting what will make someone else smile and therefore not posting anything negative.
—Never ‘liking’ or sharing material negative or embarrassing for someone else.

While On the Internet, with illustrations by Jane Heinrichs, is aimed at children between the ages of 6 and 8, Dr. Roberts has also published an accompanying manual for adults, Kids, Sex and Screens: Raising strong, resilient children in the sexualized digital age (Fair Winds Press, $25.99) to be used in conjunction with the children’s book.
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With three children of her own, ages 6 to 18, Dr. Roberts practices what she preaches. “I use all these ground rules: I use it in my clinical practice, I use it teaching at U of Vic, and I use it as a mom,” she says. “We need to help children navigate the Internet in a healthy way. And to become ambassadors of peace in the playground.”

Dr. Roberts started working with children more than 20 years ago, first as a primary school teacher, then as a psychologist and associate professor of educational psychology. While working on her PhD, she specialized in medically fragile children. She first co-wrote School Children with HIV/AIDS (Detselig, 1999) with Kathleen Cairns.

She went on to write Where Do Babies Come From? Our First Talk About Birth (Orca, 2015) illustrated by Cindy Revell, for ages 3 to 6. Then, Dr. Roberts began her first series of books, Just Enough, to cover topics about death, cultural diversity, and parental separation or divorce. Titles include: What Happens When a Loved One Dies? Our First Talk About Death (Orca, 2016) and What Makes Us Unique? Our First Talk About Diversity (Orca, 2016). Dr. Roberts also created an app for Where Do Babies Come From? called Facts of Life.

In 2017, Dr. Roberts’ debuted a new series, The World Around Us, which includes On the Internet. The first title, On Our Street: Our First Talk About Poverty (Orca, 2018), introduces young children to the realities of people living without sufficient resources and includes the homeless, the mentally ill, those living as refugees, and other aspects of the difficulties of poverty.

The second title in the series, On the News: Our First Talk About Tragedy (Orca, 2018) was followed by On the Internet and later this year On the Playground: Our First Talk About Prejudice (Orca, 2019).

Meanwhile the perils of pornography for impressionable minds will persist.
“I believe it is impossible to prevent children seeing inappropriate things online,” Dr. Roberts says, adding that despite what parents think are strong software controls to prevent this, they aren’t enough.

“Free WIFI is available everywhere. It is super common for kids to access pornographic sites and share the material with other kids. Parents need to have ‘the talk’ much earlier if they don’t want to lose the chance to help their children with their sexuality. Instead, children will get their first experience on pornographic sites.”

On The Internet: 978-1-45982-094-4;
Kids, Sex & Screens: 978-1592338528

Beverly Cramp is associate publisher of BC BookWorld.

[BCBW 2019]

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