Home
The Dad Dialogues
The Dad Dialogues: A Correspondence on Fatherhood (And The Universe) by George Bowering & Charlie Demers (Arsenal Pulp $17.95)
The Dad Dialogues: a correspondence on Fatherhood (And The Universe) is an exchange of seemingly off-the-cuff, long messages-we used to call them letters-written between prolific, elderly and venerable George Bowering and thirty-something comedian Charlie Demers who divides his promising career between standup, stage plays, books, radio gigs and teaching.
Whereas Demers writes with the raw anxiety and wonder typical of a new father, Bowering's comments on paternalism are more reflective and composed, though sometimes laced with the old fears.
The letters begin with Demers anticipating the birth of his daughter, due in a matter of days. Bowering responds with tales of his own daughter's birth, over forty years ago. Each author relates the saga of his daughter's first year in vivid detail.
Thea Bowering was born in October of 1971. Josephine, Demer's daughter, was born in January of 2014. Their histories, although separated by more than forty years, share similarities. Both fathers share fears about the world their daughter is growing up in. For Bowering, this meant raising a child during the cold war. For Demers, who suffers from anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, he worries about oceans turning to acid, tiny lungs being punctured by smaller ribs and red blotches on the skin.
Demers is a dedicated father who can't stand spending time apart from his kid soon after her birth. Every other task he's presented with becomes a chore, pure drudgery that separates him and Josephine. Instead of feeling relief at finally having time to himself when he's away for work, spending the night in a hotel room is the loneliest he's ever felt.
Bowering casts back to his diary entries to relive his first trip away from the family. It was a series of train trips he made from Vancouver to Prince George to Edmonton and back. Without the added convenience of cell phones and discount flights, the time out of contact felt eternal. Add some northern weather and the whole trip was pretty bleak.
So this is a seemingly unplanned book that is less about events than it is about emotions.
The stories told are mostly about ordinary events, milestones that every parent can identify with. Women have been sharing such stories with one another for aeons; men not so much. Because Demers and Bowering, as males, are sharing anecdotes about their reactions to their infant daughters, how they feel, ostensibly this makes The Dad Dialogues into unusual literature.
Cloying or fascinating, there's an undeniable buoyancy to their friendship that keeps the dual narratives afloat. Typically, when Demers recounts 'Joji's' first visit to the emergency room, over a small red mark on her face, the beginnings of a light bruise, Bowering counters with a story about his own daughter drinking lemon-scented furniture polish when she was a year old. The hour-long drive to the ER was peppered with curses and pleas.
As Demers chronicles the first year of Josephine's life, Bowering reciprocates, like a good shepherd, reminding Demers that he is not alone in his feelings. The Dad Dialogues affords an intimate look at the diapers, despair and overwhelming joy of fatherhood. Not war stories from the trenches; instead a rare advertisement for male nurturing.
978-1551526621
James Paley is a Vancouver freelance writer.
The Dad Dialogues: a correspondence on Fatherhood (And The Universe) is an exchange of seemingly off-the-cuff, long messages-we used to call them letters-written between prolific, elderly and venerable George Bowering and thirty-something comedian Charlie Demers who divides his promising career between standup, stage plays, books, radio gigs and teaching.
Whereas Demers writes with the raw anxiety and wonder typical of a new father, Bowering's comments on paternalism are more reflective and composed, though sometimes laced with the old fears.
The letters begin with Demers anticipating the birth of his daughter, due in a matter of days. Bowering responds with tales of his own daughter's birth, over forty years ago. Each author relates the saga of his daughter's first year in vivid detail.
Thea Bowering was born in October of 1971. Josephine, Demer's daughter, was born in January of 2014. Their histories, although separated by more than forty years, share similarities. Both fathers share fears about the world their daughter is growing up in. For Bowering, this meant raising a child during the cold war. For Demers, who suffers from anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, he worries about oceans turning to acid, tiny lungs being punctured by smaller ribs and red blotches on the skin.
Demers is a dedicated father who can't stand spending time apart from his kid soon after her birth. Every other task he's presented with becomes a chore, pure drudgery that separates him and Josephine. Instead of feeling relief at finally having time to himself when he's away for work, spending the night in a hotel room is the loneliest he's ever felt.
Bowering casts back to his diary entries to relive his first trip away from the family. It was a series of train trips he made from Vancouver to Prince George to Edmonton and back. Without the added convenience of cell phones and discount flights, the time out of contact felt eternal. Add some northern weather and the whole trip was pretty bleak.
So this is a seemingly unplanned book that is less about events than it is about emotions.
The stories told are mostly about ordinary events, milestones that every parent can identify with. Women have been sharing such stories with one another for aeons; men not so much. Because Demers and Bowering, as males, are sharing anecdotes about their reactions to their infant daughters, how they feel, ostensibly this makes The Dad Dialogues into unusual literature.
Cloying or fascinating, there's an undeniable buoyancy to their friendship that keeps the dual narratives afloat. Typically, when Demers recounts 'Joji's' first visit to the emergency room, over a small red mark on her face, the beginnings of a light bruise, Bowering counters with a story about his own daughter drinking lemon-scented furniture polish when she was a year old. The hour-long drive to the ER was peppered with curses and pleas.
As Demers chronicles the first year of Josephine's life, Bowering reciprocates, like a good shepherd, reminding Demers that he is not alone in his feelings. The Dad Dialogues affords an intimate look at the diapers, despair and overwhelming joy of fatherhood. Not war stories from the trenches; instead a rare advertisement for male nurturing.
978-1551526621
James Paley is a Vancouver freelance writer.
Submitted on November 9, 2016 in By David.
