Classics-reading, uberplanner Julia has been best friends forever with "big-haired, big-assed"; Ruth, a drama queen with unsurpassed abilities at forging parents' signatures.

As soon as they can kiss high school goodbye, they're off for New York or London or Los Angeles. Like Babar the Elephant (who, in Julia's opinion, doesn't get nearly the literary respect he deserves) their lives will be full of travel, cool clothes and a gorgeous red car.

But then Ruth ditches Julia, goes to a party without her, gets drunk and does "it"; for the first time. A month later she's crying over sappy morning television and her "boobs hurt.";

But cerebral Julia has a plan. After all, her dad's new wife is also pregnant and, fortuitously, hiring a midwife. Under the guise of doing a school report, Julia will interview the midwife, observe her in action and pass along every bit of nutritional and pre-natal advice to Ruth.

As narrated by the sharp-minded Julia, Sarah N. Harvey's The Lit Report is not only about a missed period, two pregnancies and high-school graduation plans gone awry. Harvey has also deftly added a trilingual legal-secretary known for her Holy Trinity flower arrangements, a neo-natal nurse with a second pediatrician wife and a tattooed, ex-con, red-necked, bible-thumping pastor.

Along with the midwife who has "squid-ink blue"; painted toenails, the supporting cast includes the delectable Jonah, with his Christian school boot-camp buzz cut and the "stamina of a triathlete,"; and the dishy, sensitive yet foul-mouthed Mark.

Julia's high school confidential plan will be risky, of course-but it has to work out. They hope Ruth can tuck her newborn in a basket and leave it on the steps of the church for some good Christians to adopt. Then the pair can simply pick up with their plans and head for New York or L.A. 978155143905

--review by Louise Donnelly

[BCBW 2008]