David Fisher was born in England in 1936 and immigrated to Canada in 1958. His going interest in communication and language was sparked by his work with Inuit people on Baffin Island in in 1966. He attended university in the 1970s and '80s, receiving degrees in social work and a Ph.D. in psychology. He has studied the interrelatedness of language, personality, relationships and spirituality since 1981. "I provide counselling to individuals and couples, lead a small meditation group, and on most days I manage to do at least some gardening." He lives with my wife Susan in Nanaimo. They have two children, Petra and Adrian.

Fisher has self-published Secrets: Communication, Language and Intimacy in which he discusses "three secrets in communication and language" that he contends govern how we experience intimate relationships. "The first secret is key: Our ordinary language contains two sub-languages - separating and connecting. Predominantly we use separating language. Unfortunately, separating language trumps connecting language, and couples' relationships suffer accordingly." The book is a resource for individuals who want to enhance their communication skills. He explores how habitual ways we communicate often undermine our relationships and provides ten principles that can be used to guide the development of intimate relationships. He also describes twelves traps and binds that many of us fall into when we are talking to one another and provides fourteen communication skills that individuals can use independently of their partners towards enhancing communication. A final chapter describes seven ways in which couples can communicate collaboratively. One appendix provides guidance in the expression of feelings; another appendix contrasts the dynamics of conflict between partners with the dynamics of discussion.


Secrets: Communication, Language and Intimacy (Nanaimo: Pathways Counselling
978-0-9697275-2-1 $20

Published by: Pathways Counselling,
181 Bird Sanctuary Drive,
Nanaimo, BC. V9R 6G8.

[BCBW 2012]